Things That Are Wrong With Maxim


As a woman, you could guess what I might have against Maxim. But that’s not what I’m gonna talk about. I can appreciate beauty. My problem is that first – Ke$ha is on Maxim’s Hot 100 list (low but that’s not the point) and second – Miley Cyrus topped the list. Well, the list isn’t completely out yet but she released a statement thanking her fans for making her #1. Let’s hope there’s some kind of rule for getting disqualified if you leak the results early…? Last year Bar Refaeli was #1. I can agree with that, she’s an Israeli model who dates A-list actors like Leonardo DiCaprio and has been on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Olivia Munn was #2 but this year has moved down to #28, one spot under Topanga from Boy Meets World!?! What did Olivia do to deserve that? Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Beyonce are all in the top 20. That’s fine, I suppose, but all before Rosie Huntington-Whitley who placed #42?? I’m pretty sure no man or woman would agree with that. Lea Michele from Glee even beat her (just barely, but still!) at #39. Who in the world is voting on these? Not that my opinion counts or even that these people might not make the top 10 but here is who I think should be at the top of the list: Starting with Mila Kunis, then Erin Heatherton, Eva Mendes, Rachel Bilson, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, and Ashley Greene. All gorgeous and if they aren’t in the single digits on the list then…well…I’m never going to start buying Maxim magazines! ~Dutch


Personally, I’ve never seen a Maxim magazine anywhere near Dutch’s house. Not that I wouldn’t mind the reading material on a lazy Sunday afternoon (*cough* hint hint *cough*). I looked through the currently released listings and unlike Dutch, I don’t mind that Ke$ha made the list. I’m surprised Jamie Pressley didn’t make the cut, she’s still relevant right??? Olivia Munn should be much higher on the list! I didn’t even see Magic Mike but I can tell you she deserves a top spot. I’m glad to see that Jessica Chastain made the cut, proof that there are attractive gingers out there. Brooklyn Decker got beat out by a bunch of names I’ve never even heard of. Come on people, sure, she can’t act, but does she really need to? Beyonce wouldn’t even make my list by the way! I can only hope Kate Upton ranks higher on the full list. Lists like this remind me why I’ve lost faith in humanity. I can’t live in a world where a future Britney Spears burnout makes the top spot. Who is voting for these things?! I have a feeling Maxim phoned this year’s list in and just went with who had the most Twitter followers. ~cw4ll





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